Roots in Alpharetta

I often sing the praises of another local blog by Bob Strader. He’s a realtor who writes some genuinely useful stuff on his blog (unlike the random nonsense I post here).

Check out his recent article on some road projects in the area. A few of these jumped out at me.

Windward and GA-400 Ramp to North Point – I’ve heard about this one before. There will be a new ramp/lane that will funnel traffic from GA-400 northbound onto North Point Parkway southbound. This should reduce a lot of congestion in this area. I tend to avoid this intersection anyway, using Webb Bridge or McGinnis Ferry/Morris to cross GA-400.

Windward Landscaping – The same Windward and GA-400 intersection will get a makeover with stone works, similar to Mansell Road.

Westside Parkway at Prospect Park – Also known as the rock pit. Bob thinks we’re one step closer to seeing this connecting road open up between Old Milton and Webb Bridge/Academy. I’ll believe it when I see it, but hope it happens soon.

The scarecrow wants a brain, the tin man wants a heart and the lion wants courage. Johns Creek wants a zip code. They’ve enlisted the help of Congressman Tom Price to guide them down the political yellow brick road. Will the great Oz grant their wish?

I’m torn on this issue of zip codes for the new cities of the burbs. In some ways I think they are going for a vanity zip code, something that could become exclusive like 90210. It’ll be a unique Johns Creek number the country club ladies can get snobby about. Yet in other ways I think the zip code system is partially broken and a new zip code for the city makes stuff function better. First I’ll make the case against a new zip.

Zip codes belong to the post office. They were invented by the USPS and are maintained by them. They exist to make postal delivery more efficient. Zips do not follow political boundaries and never have. Asking the post office to create one or more zip codes exclusively within the boundaries of the city of Johns Creek is not realistic. The USPS has enough problems right now, I’m sure they don’t need political pressure brought down on them by Congressmen for the purposes of city identity.

On the flip side, zip codes are often misused and misunderstood. The post office recognizes a “default place name” for each zip code. Johns Creek is not a default name of any zip code, even though they exist partially in five zips. The USPS agreed to allow Johns Creek to be what they call an “acceptable place name” for four of the five zip codes. That’s not good enough for one big reason…

Poor software design. Yeah, I blame it on the software guys (like yours truly). Many software apps incorrectly assume a one-to-one relationship between zip code and city. So for example, when they see 30022, they assume “Alpharetta, GA” or vice versa. Acceptable place names are often not factored into many software applications. As a result, using a website to find a restaurant or get a weather forecast might not work if you type “Johns Creek” or “Milton” as the location.

So what’s the solution? I’d kinda like to see the USPS change the default place for 30022 and 30097 to Johns Creek. Those two zip codes are mostly in the city limits anyway. I’m sure this change would tick off folks in Alpharetta and Duluth. North Point Mall is in 30022 and I’m sure the businesses near there wouldn’t care for the change.

Or Johns Creek could hope for an outcome similar to what happened in Milton. In their case, 30004 was just about the only zip code in the new city. In 2008 the USPS carved out a new zip code from 30004. This new zip, 30009, is mostly downtown Alpharetta with just a few addresses in Milton. They said the change was for efficiency reasons, yet the line somewhat closely follows the city boundaries. I’m certain there was some political influence involved in this though. What is confusing to me is that 30004 still has a default place of “Alpharetta”. It really should be Milton.

Pulling off something like this in Johns Creek would be more difficult considering that five zip codes are involved. And those five zip codes have four distinct default place names. Is it all worth it? Is this a waste of political capital?

Last night I sat in the food court of North Point Mall with my kids. Nearby was a sign advertising a promotion for American Girl. I asked my five year old daughter, “Sweetheart, do you know about American Girl?” She knew of them, but had never been in the store. She wasn’t familiar with their products or what they offer. We were literally on top of the store yet she had no clue. A little smile came to my face as inside I was thinking “Mwahahahaahhaha!”

It is significant that Alpharetta has an American Girl store. We are in a small and exclusive club of locations that include Fifth Avenue in Midtown Manhattan. So what is American Girl? It is an evil and diabolical scheme to separate fathers from their money. There have been many such schemes in the past, most recently Build-A-Bear. But American Girl is different and far more sinister. It appeals to a deep primordial instinct in little girls. I’ve never fully experienced the store, but I think the general idea is that girls select a doll that looks like them. Next they dress the doll (and the girl I guess) in matching outfits. You then have tea together in the cafe, get your hair done together, etc. And of course you have to go back each season and update clothes to keep in the current fashion trends. This is way beyond stuffing a teddy bear.

What I’ve managed to accomplish is possibly the finest example of misdirection in suburban fatherhood. I’m sure it has saved me hundreds of dollars in the process. Here’s my secret…

First, start young, before your daughters are old enough to appreciate this store. I don’t know if this works once the cat is out of the bag (and the cash is out of your wallet).

Next, realize that the American Girl store at North Point is downstairs and off the main drag. Never, ever enter the mall near the store. I would go a step farther. Never enter the mall at Sears or Macys. I suggest parking on the second floor of the parking deck and entering at Dillards. From there, stick to the second floor of the mall. You’ll have easy access to the food court. It is safe to descend to the first floor so long as you are past Macys. You can distract your kids with choo choo rides, the soft play area or the other activities down on that end of the mall.

Lastly, utilize the various overpriced cookie stores all scattered strategically on the second floor. Yes, they are your friends. Dangle that carrot in front of them… if you’re well behaved then you can have a cookie on the way out of the mall. Yeah, they are expensive, but a dollar here and there is a small price to pay.

When I was a kid parents bitched about $50 Air Jordans. I don’t want to be the parent griping about dropping C-notes at American Girl. For now my little misdirection plan is working. Sure it is simple. Just let American Girl’s poor location in the mall play to your favor. Never venture over there, even for a latte at Starbucks. You’ll be fine. If you follow these steps you just might avoid being like your parents.

At my job we have lots of ticketing systems. This is pretty common in the IT world. We have applications for submitting tickets for network changes, maintenance requests, software defects, technical support, new employee hiring and firing, etc. We probably have a ticketing system for making changes to other ticketing systems. It sounds like a lot, and sometimes it is. But if you’ve got a good process around the system, it can help your organization in a big way.

How so? It allows for accountability and transparency. When stuff isn’t getting done, there is a record of who is assigned a task with dates, times and notes. And when the process behind the system works, it gives management the tools and metrics to track change. They can also make pretty graphs for their powerpoint presos.

Yesterday the AJC ran a story about the City of Alpharetta and their adoption of SeeClickFix. You can read the article here. The application is basically a ticketing system for citizens to submit minor problems within the city. Think potholes, broken sidewalks, storm drains, traffic lights, stuff like that. Users submit issues through a web 2.0 interface with google maps integration or over a smart phone (iPhone, Blackberry or Android). It is slick technology. <nerd mode off>

Like many, this was the first time I heard of this application, which Alpharetta has quietly been using for a few months. When I first read the AJC article I kinda thought the city developed this on their own. That’s not the case. They have adopted a process around SeeClickFix and have subscribed to its service. At only $100 a month, this was a real bargain for the city.

Yesterday I created an issue in the new system. I reported on a traffic light on Windward Parkway that I think needs to be re-timed. In just a few minutes someone with the city acknowledged the issue and assigned it to the traffic division for research. That in and of itself isn’t a huge deal. I suppose I could have picked up the phone and called the traffic division and accomplished the same thing.

So how is this better? Because I have a ticket. I am issue number 47733. I have a URL, a status, a date, “like” buttons and a section for comments and discussions. I have something I can come back to weeks or months later if nothing is done. In short, I have a visible way to hold the city accountable. If I had just called in my issue, who knows what would have happened. The employee on the other end of the phone could have done nothing. Or more likely than anything, the request might have just gotten lost in the bureaucracy of government.

The system is still pretty young. It will take time to see how well it is adopted and embraced by the city and citizens. As a local blogger you can bet I’ll be watching. In the meantime, I think the City of Alpharetta deserves a lot of praise. In this current political climate, citizens are demanding a lot out of government. Unfortunately that usually manifests itself in the form of ugly campaigns and fighting. What I think citizens truly want is open, transparent and responsive government, not politics. Big kudos to Alpharetta for being the first to leverage this technology.

“You’re getting reorged.” That was all my now former boss told me in the hallway. It wasn’t something I wanted to hear at that moment. Why? For one, I liked my old boss, and I also really needed to go to the bathroom. It wasn’t a good hallway conversation.

“You’ll be reporting to Bruce.” Who? I’d never heard of him. Bruce was new to the company, coming to us from a construction equipment firm where he was a sales VP. It was a strange fit, especially considering that he now had some IT people reporting to him. He shared his resume with the group at our first meeting. This guy was a serious corporate go-getter. He literally rose from the mail room to the big corner office. Bruce’s achievements on his resume, if true, were remarkable. He lived in a fancy gated neighborhood and drove a European sports car. He had a nice looking family, a son active in high school sports and a college-aged daughter who turned a lot of heads. More on his kids later.

But it didn’t take long before Bruce’s management style started to rub people the wrong way. IT guys are used to a laid back atmosphere. Not Bruce. He insisted on a strict professional dress code, right down to the shoes. Core working hours were mandatory and enforced. Flex time? Forget about it! He also insisted on keeping the supply cabinet in his office. Folks hated groveling for paper and pens, having to justify a need for them. The guy was a tyrant. It was like working for R. Lee Ermey. For those of us in IT, it was hell.

It also became apparent that if you didn’t have aspirations of upper management, Bruce didn’t respect you. Being a peon was okay as long as you showed what he thought was a drive to make it to the top. And that drive didn’t leave room for much else. The serious go-getters he was grooming didn’t have time for soccer games with the kids. Even vacation requests were often denied.

Yet one day Bruce confided something to me. It was a short remark, almost made in an off-handed way. He said that he was trying to spend more time with his son and daughter. They were close to leaving home and he felt like he had a lot of lost ground to make up. That was about all he said on the matter, but it stuck with me.

It was an epiphany. I knew I didn’t like Bruce, and I thought he didn’t have anything to teach me career-wise. Was I ever wrong. Bruce taught me a LOT. I learned in that instant that I didn’t want to be a Bruce. How many people look back at the end of their career and wish they’d spent more time at the office? None! I decided to trade a thick resume, big job titles and plaques on the wall for quality time with the kids. It means I’m not going to be a chief technology officer one day. It also means I’m not going to miss things like “Doughnuts with Dad” at my son’s preschool. It means I don’t miss bedtime.

I don’t know what happened to Bruce. The next reorg came and swept me away to a better place. Bruce eventually left the company, hopefully to retire and spend more time at home. But knowing him, he’s probably still trying to conquer the corporate world in another big building full of cubicles. I’m sure he’s still slaving away trying to get another penny added to the EPS this quarter. Hopefully his daughter isn’t out looking for something to replace the father figure she didn’t have.

Not long ago I wrote about the Alpharetta Convention and Visitors Bureau. Go back and read that article if you haven’t already. I made the observation that these guys have the hardest job in town. They have to convince people to actually want to come to Alpharetta (other than to sit in a fabric covered box for eight hours).

The CVB offers some suggested itineraries on their website. Some of their ideas are not half bad. There are itineraries for men, women, kids, art, history, etc. There are a few problems though. First, nearly all the activities are within the city limits of Alpharetta (except the history activities, half of which are in Roswell or Atlanta). Second, do people actually follow this advice? I found most itineraries to be unrealistic. But rather than criticize, I’ve decided to offer up my own suggested Alpharetta itineraries. Let me know what you think or suggest your own itinerary in the comments.

Alpharetta Tennis Mom

Begin your day at your six bedroom McMansion in a gated subdivision. Hop into your Escalade and meet your girlfriends for breakfast at the Red Hen on Windward. This small little breakfast joint offers an eclectic decor along with a creative menu.

After breakfast you’ll hit the courts! Tennis is uber competitive in the affluent burbs. It’s just what we do. Play a few matches before the day gets too hot.

Before long you’ll be ready to refuel. No need to take off the tennis outfit, just wear it to lunch. Head on over to Never Enough Thyme, a silly little lunch spot crawling with uppity women like yourself. Oh my God, does Jill have the same tennis outfit on today? We can’t have that! So after lunch head on over to Your Serve Tennis where you can get a color coordinated tennis skirt.

Next it’s time to unwind at one of Alpharetta’s numerous spas. While waiting on your masseuse in the lobby, check out the latest issue of Points North Magazine. You’ve been considering some cosmetic surgery for a long time, so browse through dozens of ads for botox.

Finally, with hubby out of town, why not check out the night life at Sage Woodfire Tavern on Haynes Bridge? It’s where every cougar goes during the week!

Cubicle Life

You wake in Gwinnett County and realize you’re running late for your technology job in Alpharetta. You jump into your Accord and take one of Alpharetta’s congested roadways. Check out Abbott’s Bridge or State Bridge road and wait in traffic to get across the river.

Cubicle life is hard, so take your lunch break and hit a terrific chain or franchise restaurant. Sure, Alpharetta has plenty of locally owned restaurants but who has time for that? You’ll choke down a pre-made and overpriced sandwich at Panera Bread or Which Wich, bypassing truly outstanding choices like Wildflour.

You’ll continue to work like a dog in your cubicle until well past sunset, missing your kids’ summer time activities. Around 9:00 you’ll roll back into your Gwinnett driveway.

Diabetes and Coronary Heart Disease

Obama-care is coming. Are you ready? We can help. Enjoy these gluttonous eateries everyday and you’ll need a lot of socialized medicine.

Start your day off right at Dutch Monkey Doughnuts. Deep fried dough covered with sugar. Ah yes. Or better yet, try your hand at their yearly July 4th competitive eating competition and try to swallow a baker’s dozen in 15 minutes.

You might be tempted to hike the Big Creek Greenway on a nice morning. Forget it! A sedentary lifestyle is key to developing serious heart problems. Instead, why not consider parking your ass in a comfy chair in the library or maybe Barnes and Noble?

For lunch try the best burger joint in North Fulton, Flippin Out in Johns Creek. Try “The Socialite” burger with smoked bacon mixed into ground beef. It’s just what the doctor ordered. Don’t like fancy burgers? The Varisty on Haynes Bridge might be greasy enough for ya. What’ll ya have? A prescription for Lipitor, please.

During the afternoon, sample some fine chocolate truffles at Schakolad on Windward or The Chocolaterie at the Avenue Forsyth.

For dinner try a full rack of ribs at ‘Cue in Milton and a cold beer. Add some sides of french fries and potato salad for extra carbs.

Finish up your day of fat and sugar gluttony with a late night dessert. Hit the Melting Pot on Mansell for chocolate fondue or maybe a custom cake from Alpine Bakery.

Many Christians take offense at how we are losing “Chirstmas”. People say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” For the most part I agree with the concern. I go out of my way to say Merry Christmas to people I meet in December.

I have the same sort of pet peeve in June and July when people say “Fourth of July” or just “the Fourth.” The patriotic American in me wants to just slap folks when I hear this. The holiday we are celebrating is Independence Day. It isn’t just the birthday of our country. It was the day when a group of very brave men signed their name to a document declaring our independence. It was a very bold measure of defiance towards the most powerful nation in the world (England). In short, it took some serious cajones. I believe we trivialize the significance of this event by saying “the fourth of July.”

So if you consider yourself even a tiny bit patriotic, why not say “Independence Day”? This year make a concerted effort to do so. And don’t forget to fly your flag this weekend. Check out the article I wrote at Memorial Day on proper suburban flag display etiquette. Have a terrific Independence Day and God bless America!

I’m a fan of the Alpharetta Convention and Visitors Bureau. I also think they have an amazingly difficult job. Their mission is basically to make Alpharetta a place people want to visit. Yes, that’s a tough mission… and no I’m not being sarcastic. There are plenty of cool things to do around here, many of which I’ve blogged about. I think it’s a difficult job because of the stereotypes surrounding our city. People think Alpharetta is just a mall and a bunch of chain restaurants. Overcoming that stigma is a challenge.

So in a way I’m like these guys… except I don’t have a board of directors, or a welcome center, or cool vacation giveaway contests. Who am I fooling; I’m not in the same league as these guys.

Ah, but the vacation giveaways! Yesterday the Alpharetta CVB announced the winner of their spring promotional getaway giveaway. Their press release reads like something out of the showcase showdown on The Price is Right. I pictured one of Barker’s Beauties standing in front of an Alpharetta hotel, holding a stack of gift cards. Her arms would stretch wide to reveal a picnic basket, Alpharetta t-shirt and bottled water. All this could be yours, if the price is right! Or would you rather bid on the other showcase?

So I didn’t win the spring getaway giveaway. I’d be curious to know if the winner, who is from Michigan, will make the trek down here to claim his booty. But I’ll bet you a $25 Sweet Tomatoes gift card that I’ll be entering the August promotion! Wish me luck!

File this under the pot calling the kettle black. I’m the last person in the world that should be correcting things like spelling and grammar. But when it comes to proper names, please make an effort to spell it right! Here are some commonly misspelled names in the northern burbs. I see bloggers and even newspaper articles make these mistakes a lot.

The Avenues Forsyth

“Avenue” is singular in the spelling of this popular outdoor mall. It is an easy mistake to make, considering that there are several streets with shops that crisscross all over the place.

John’s Creek

The city was named for the creek. The creek’s name didn’t have an apostrophe and thus the city’s name doesn’t. As best I can tell, this is the most simple explanation behind the missing apostrophe. The creek doesn’t belong to John. Or was it someone named “Johns”? Then should it be Johns’ Creek? Hell if I know. Just leave the apostrophe off. Who is John anyway?

Cummings, GA

I don’t see this mistake made often, except for folks not from around here. I used to live in Cumming many years ago. When I did, my mother would always call it Cummings. Her Christmas cards were addressed this way as well. Thankfully the USPS figured it out.

FOUR-syth

Not really a misspelling, but more of a pronunciation thing. When talking about the county to the north, please say it right. FOUR-syth with the emphasis on the first syllable is not correct. You say fer-SYTH with the stress on the last syllable.

I hope this little guide helps you. So remember all this when driving up from John’s Creek to go shopping at The Avenues FOUR-syth.

There are a lot of terrific blogs in the Atlanta area that offer ideas for things to do with your kids. I’ve mentioned Atlanta with Kid as one that I like. I also like Field Trips with Sue and a new local blog called Forsyth County for Families.

These blogs have something else in common… they are all written by moms, and I’m not a mom. Mom’s like places such as the Center for Puppetry Arts. There’s a time and place for puppets I suppose. But as Father’s Day nears, I thought I would offer up some cool and manly dad things to do with your kids.

The Gun Range

You’ve gotta love the feel of holding cold steel in your hands and squeezing off a few rounds. Celebrate the Second Amendment and go shooting with the kids! I suggest American Classic Marksman in Norcross. Kids need to be at least 12 years old and have a LOT of adult supervision. In all seriousness, children need to learn to respect guns and how to handle them.

Paintball

If shooting holes in paper targets gets boring, try paintball! At least you can shoot other people here without killing them. It sometimes stings a little though.

I first tried paintball in high school. You’d be surprised how intense the experience really is. I gained new respect for soldiers after an afternoon of being a make pretend GI Joe.

Paintball Atlanta would be a great place to check out. Their field is located in South Forsyth not far from McFarland and GA-400. You can rent all the equipment necessary on-site. Kids need to be age 11 or older.

Peachtree Dekalb Airport Playground

Okay, this article isn’t all about guns. Plus, my kids are too young to participate in that stuff anyway. Here’s an idea for younger kids. Airplanes! See lots of them surprisingly close up. That’s the PDK airport playground. By playground standards, it isn’t that impressive. But it’s the location! You’re literally in the shadow of the control tower and right on the fence. You’re close enough to get occasional blasts of propwash as the planes start up. If your kid is even remotely interested in aviation, you’d ought to check this place out.

Andretti Indoor Karting

Boogity, boogity, boogity, let’s go racing boys! I had low expectations going into Andretti. Go karts sound so lame, but I assure you, these are not. You’re low to the ground on a tight course with a pretty powerful engine behind you. It really is a lot of fun. Plus they have a dad’s race free deal on Father’s Day!