Tiny Town in Affluent Alpharetta

Yesterday my son went to Tiny Town. No, I’m not talking about Milton. Tiny Town is a yearly activity at his preschool. They convert the preschool’s gymnasium into a little town. The kids go from place to place and shop to shop just like in a real town. They even have an Alpharetta police officer to give them a “stranger danger” lesson. He was most excited about the barber shop (make-pretend shave), car wash (riding bigwheels through a bubble machine) and the post office.

It was fun to hear him tell me all about Tiny Town before bed last night. But after his kiss goodnight I realized that several Alpharetta attractions were missing. To truly give preschoolers an affluent suburb Tiny Town experience, I think the school should consider adding…

Cubicles

Talk about a low budget attraction. Sit the kids in a fabric-covered box with a chair. Ask them to stare at a computer monitor with an excel spreadsheet. Continue for 9 or 10 hours until they miss dinner. If they protest, explain that 100,000 people do this everyday in Alpharetta.

Cosmetic Surgery

There’s no reason to accept the body you’ve been given! Let the kids pretend to get tummy tucks, nose jobs, botox injections and cosmetic dentistry. Take before and after pictures to bring home to mom or get published in Points North magazine.

Mixed-Use Developments

This one’s gonna make a mess. Print a big poster of an artist’s rendition of Prospect Park or Peridot. In front of the picture, dump a large load of dirt and surround it with construction barriers. Build a road halfway across the dirt but don’t allow the kids to drive on it. Next, ask the children to close their eyes and imagine a suburban utopia where you can live, work and eat in the same block. Promise the kids that it’ll happen in 3 to 4 years and will be nothing like the dirt pile they see. Finally, run out of the room and disappear before they open their eyes. Blame the economy.

I’ve learned as a parent that children have an amazing ability to sense when something is lame. Even my three-year-old is good at this. He picks up on truly dumb things that even his parents may not recognize. So take a step back and think like a child every now and then. And let me know what other Alpharetta attractions you think we could add to Tiny Town!

5 Responses to “Tiny Town in Affluent Alpharetta”

  1. Dustin January 27, 2011 at 8:47 am #

    Maybe a cameo/sighting of Jeff Foxworthy or Whitney Houston?

  2. jimgilvin January 27, 2011 at 9:03 am #

    Lee- I can’t believe you left out traffic! The school could have constructed tiny bottlenecks that kept kids from getting to the good stuff. Teachers acting as politicians could even stand there and tell the children that it was impossible to fix bottlenecks without state & federal money and then turn themselves around hokey pokey style and rail against pork barrel spending. Good Times!

  3. Travis Allen January 27, 2011 at 12:55 pm #

    LOL…thanks, this post was just the refreshment I needed in the halfway through my 9 hours…

  4. Kim January 27, 2011 at 1:14 pm #

    ROFL!!!

  5. Bob Strader January 27, 2011 at 9:48 pm #

    Nice post Lee, I like the way you brought it around to your final point. Now Tiny Town just needs a Wal-Mart, a cell tower and NIMBY opposition ;)

Leave a Reply:

Gravatar Image

Switch to our mobile site