A Milton Fill-In-The-Blank Press Release

I like to poke fun at Milton. Don’t get me wrong, it is a nice place with good folks. It’s just that their city council routinely votes to ban things that I’ve come to like and enjoy. The news stories all tend to sound the same after a while. So as a service to my fellow writers out there, I’ve put together this little Milton press release template. It is kind of like those Mad Libs we used to do as kids. Just fill in the blanks or use the words or phrases I’ve suggested. If you’re the north Fulton beat writer for the AJC or maybe for Access Milton, this ought to make your job a lot easier. Just my way of giving back.

Milton Votes on Controversial Ban

Milton – The City Council yesterday approved a measure to permanently ban (cell phones/gasoline/indoor plumbing) within the Milton city limits. The vote was (unanimous/contentious/split).  After the council adjourned, Milton’s mayor said of the vote, “It was important we act on this matter. In my opinion, this was necessary to preserve Milton’s (equestrian/anti-capitalistic) way of life. ”

(Dozens of/hundreds of/several) residents crowded into Milton’s city hall chamber to express their opinions. They held signs which read (“think of the horses”/”no sewer!”) while booing attorneys when they spoke. One of those attorneys, Sindey Getz of the lawfirm (Dolittle and Dalley/Howe, Dewey, Cheatem & Wynn) expressed disgust in the vote, saying “This vote is (horse <bleep>,<bleep>ing stupid,nothing but <bleeeeeep>). I will advise my client to (sue/pout/write a strongly worded letter). ”

“I don’t want people to think this is a NIMBY issue,” said Milton resident Joe Schmo. “I just don’t want that stuff next door to me.”

Also in yesterday’s meeting, the council considered a resolution to (pick a favorite color/lower the city-wide speed limit to 10 mph). The matter was postponed until next month’s meeting to allow for further discussion.

4 Responses to “A Milton Fill-In-The-Blank Press Release”

  1. Travis Allen November 22, 2010 at 2:29 pm #

    Couldn’t have said it better!

  2. Bob Strader November 22, 2010 at 4:31 pm #

    OK Lee – as a reader of your blog and Milton resident….this is officially my favorite post you’ve written! Not only have you captured the rich history of Milton politics, you’ve given us a glimpse into the future.

  3. Lee November 23, 2010 at 7:27 am #

    Thanks guys for the comments. Have a great Thanksgiving.


  1. Tweets that mention Roots in Alpharetta » Blog Archive » A Milton Fill-In-The-Blank Press Release -- Topsy.com - November 22, 2010

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by North Atlanta News, Roots In Alpharetta. Roots In Alpharetta said: Dear City of Milton, thanks for giving me so much blog inspiration. Today I give back. Regards, -Lee http://bit.ly/d7imbq [...]

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