I like to poke fun at Milton. Don’t get me wrong, it is a nice place with good folks. It’s just that their city council routinely votes to ban things that I’ve come to like and enjoy. The news stories all tend to sound the same after a while. So as a service to my fellow writers out there, I’ve put together this little Milton press release template. It is kind of like those Mad Libs we used to do as kids. Just fill in the blanks or use the words or phrases I’ve suggested. If you’re the north Fulton beat writer for the AJC or maybe for Access Milton, this ought to make your job a lot easier. Just my way of giving back.
Milton Votes on Controversial Ban
Milton – The City Council yesterday approved a measure to permanently ban (cell phones/gasoline/indoor plumbing) within the Milton city limits. The vote was (unanimous/contentious/split). After the council adjourned, Milton’s mayor said of the vote, “It was important we act on this matter. In my opinion, this was necessary to preserve Milton’s (equestrian/anti-capitalistic) way of life. ”
(Dozens of/hundreds of/several) residents crowded into Milton’s city hall chamber to express their opinions. They held signs which read (“think of the horses”/”no sewer!”) while booing attorneys when they spoke. One of those attorneys, Sindey Getz of the lawfirm (Dolittle and Dalley/Howe, Dewey, Cheatem & Wynn) expressed disgust in the vote, saying “This vote is (horse <bleep>,<bleep>ing stupid,nothing but <bleeeeeep>). I will advise my client to (sue/pout/write a strongly worded letter). ”
“I don’t want people to think this is a NIMBY issue,” said Milton resident Joe Schmo. “I just don’t want that stuff next door to me.”
Also in yesterday’s meeting, the council considered a resolution to (pick a favorite color/lower the city-wide speed limit to 10 mph). The matter was postponed until next month’s meeting to allow for further discussion.