Has this ever happened to you? You’re out of town on business, maybe at a conference or seminar somewhere. You’re in the elevator making small talk with someone very important, someone you hope to impress or maybe land as a client. The conversation starts off like this…
Very Important Person: “So, Lee, where are you from?”
Lee: (thinking quickly) “um, I’m from Atlanta.”
VIP: “Oh really? My wife’s family is from Roswell.”
Lee: (totally busted in a lie) “Oh, um, well really I’m, um, from Alpharetta.”
VIP: “How about that, small world. I know all about Alpharetta. You probably live in Windward or something, right?”
Lee: “No sir, I actually live in Cherokee county.”
And just like that, your thirty seconds to make a good impression are gone while you are explaining that you don’t really live where you said you lived. Things would have gone so much better had you admitted to actually being from Alpharetta. But who’s heard of Alpharetta outside of this area?
Do you identify as living in Atlanta or one of the eighty cities surrounding Atlanta? Downtown Alpharetta is twenty five miles, as the crow flies, from downtown Atlanta. It seems a little dishonest to claim Atlanta as your own, right?
Then again, the census bureau defines the the Atlanta Metropolitan Statistical Area as being as being a vast area of up to 31 counties. The land area of it is greater than many states. We also have the largest local telephone calling area in the universe. I can call my in-laws in Rockdale county for free, yet it takes an hour to drive there without traffic. And we’re all from Atlanta, right?
Combine all this with the fact that metro Atlanta is in a rush to incorporate every last bit of land into new cities. It is a mess. Some people don’t like the ‘city’ they live in and will claim citizenship in the next town over. People in Smyrna say they are from Vinings. People from the panhandle of Sandy Springs say they are from Dunwoody, etc. It is confusing and complicated.
Even the Real Housewives of Atlanta don’t truly live in the city limits of Atlanta. I guess “Real Housewives of the Atlanta Metropolitan Statistical Area” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it? Then again, they aren’t real housewives anyway, but I digress.
So I don’t know what to think. Maybe next time I’m faced with the question above, I’m going to approach it like this:
Very Important Person: “So, Lee, where are you from?”
Lee: (answering confidently) “I’m from Alpharetta.”
VIP: “Where the *$#& is Alpharetta?”
Lee: (lowering head a bit) “We are 25 miles north of Atlanta.”
VIP: “Oh wow, out there with the hillbillies and rebel flags?”
Lee: “Not exactly. We are an affluent, high tech suburb.”
VIP: “Sure, right. That’s fascinating, Lee. Bye now.”
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Cherokee County? I hope you plan on homeschooling the kids.
Just to be clear… I don’t actually live in Cherokee county. Just using them in my story. They’re good sports like that.